Every year. Every 6 months.
The emotions are forever rotating.
Anger. Frustration. Understanding. Thanks. Sympathy. Sadness. Calm.
Pick an emotion and give me a trigger.
The facility- pissed.
The receptionist- understanding.
The hospital wristband- tears.
The patient artwork- sympathy.
The insurance- frustration.
The waiting room- calm.
Perhaps worst of all is the whole situation, the whole system.
Going to appointments is now like going to church when you don’t believe in the faith or diety… which I don’t. It’s a feeling you can never quite describe.
I wish I was still stronger — that I could just go through the motions without emotion like I did in the beginning.
I was determined because I wouldn’t stay sick.
Now I’m all of these other emotions because I’m not.